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Author Topic: My FAVORITE Jokes  (Read 15800 times)

Offline The Crusader

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My FAVORITE Jokes
« Reply #90 on: August 30, 2013, 07:23:36 PM »
A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon. "How do you know what to say?" he asked.

 "Why, God tells me."

 "Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"
"...to make all men see"(Ephesians 3:9)

We don't change God's message -- His message changes us.

Offline The Crusader

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« Reply #91 on: September 04, 2013, 11:07:32 AM »
My wife asks her me, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.

 A short time later I comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

 My wife asks me, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

 I replied, "They had avocados."
"...to make all men see"(Ephesians 3:9)

We don't change God's message -- His message changes us.

Offline The Crusader

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« Reply #92 on: September 23, 2013, 03:54:54 PM »
For our pastor's 50th birthday, the congregation decided to give him a new suit. He was so touched by the gift that the following Sunday he stood before everyone and, with tears in his eyes, announced, "Today I am preaching to you in my birthday suit."
"...to make all men see"(Ephesians 3:9)

We don't change God's message -- His message changes us.

Offline The Crusader

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« Reply #93 on: September 25, 2013, 02:27:22 PM »
One day 2 blondes walked into a tanning salon. One blonde said, " A tan for 2 please!"

 The cashier said, " Ok," filled out a form for them and asked, "are you two sisters?"

 They chuckled and replied, " No, we aren't even Catholic."
"...to make all men see"(Ephesians 3:9)

We don't change God's message -- His message changes us.

Offline The Crusader

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« Reply #94 on: September 27, 2013, 11:03:02 PM »
Rebekah was the first woman to smoke a cigarette. Genesis 24:64 And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she lighted off the camel.
"...to make all men see"(Ephesians 3:9)

We don't change God's message -- His message changes us.

Offline The Crusader

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« Reply #95 on: September 29, 2013, 09:33:08 AM »
Jehovah's witnesses don't celebrate Halloween. I guess they don't appreciate random people coming up to their doors.
"...to make all men see"(Ephesians 3:9)

We don't change God's message -- His message changes us.

Offline The Crusader

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« Reply #96 on: September 29, 2013, 03:05:14 PM »
Acts 29:13 The world is a magical place full of people waiting to be offended by something...
Acts 29:16 Thou shalt not get offended so easily.

"...to make all men see"(Ephesians 3:9)

We don't change God's message -- His message changes us.

Offline The Crusader

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« Reply #97 on: October 25, 2013, 03:00:55 PM »
There was a new family that had just moved into town. Their son came to Sunday School but seemed upset. His teacher asked him if anything was wrong.
 The boy replied no, that he was going to go fishing but his dad told him that he needed to go to church instead. The teacher was very impressed with the boy's parents and asked the boy if his father had explained to him why it was more important to go to church than to go fishing.

 The boy replied, "Yes he did. My dad said that he didn't have enough bait for both of us."
"...to make all men see"(Ephesians 3:9)

We don't change God's message -- His message changes us.

 

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